IVF story: An 8-year IVF journey, mental health awareness and advocacy
Bianca’s Eight-Year Path to Parenthood and Advocacy
Infertility is a deeply personal and often isolating journey, but for some, it becomes a story of resilience, transformation, and advocacy. On EP35 of My Fertility Podcast, we are joined by Bianca, the creator of the My Fertility Journey podcast (listen on Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts) and a fierce advocate for mental health awareness in the fertility community, sat down to share her incredible eight-year journey through IVF, mental health struggles, and the power of sharing her story. Her experiences remind us of the importance of community, self-care, and perseverance.
Welcome, Bianca! Thank you for being here and sharing your story with us.
Bianca: Thank you so much for having me! I’m really excited to share my journey. It’s been a long one, but also one that’s taught me so much about myself, my body, and the incredible strength within our community.
Let’s start from the beginning. Can you tell us about your journey to parenthood?
Bianca: Absolutely. It all started around 2013, though it’s a bit of a blur now. Like many, my husband and I thought getting pregnant would be simple. We stopped using birth control, took the recommended three-month break to ‘detox,’ and assumed we’d be expecting in no time. But as the months went by, nothing happened. After about a year, my family doctor referred us to our first fertility clinic. That began the first leg of our journey, which was filled with tests, cycle monitoring, and two unsuccessful IUIs (intrauterine inseminations).
Eventually, we discovered that my AMH (anti-Müllerian hormone) levels were very low, a sign of diminished ovarian reserve. IVF was recommended as our best option. We went through a funded IVF cycle, retrieved three embryos, and tried a fresh transfer and two frozen transfers. None of them worked. It was devastating.
What was that experience like for you emotionally?
Bianca: That first leg of our journey was incredibly dark. As the one carrying the physical burden of the treatments, I felt immense pressure and a profound distrust in my body. I’m a Pilates instructor and a former dancer, so I’ve always had a close relationship with my body. But this experience shattered my confidence. I felt like I was failing at something that should be natural and intuitive. The weight of depression, sadness, and loss of hope was overwhelming.
How did you navigate through that darkness?
Bianca: After our initial IVF failures, I realized I couldn’t keep going the way I was. Up to that point, everything felt purely physical—diet, medications, clinic visits. I needed something more. That’s when I began exploring the mental and emotional side of my journey. I turned to meditation, yoga, and other tools to support my mental health. I also sought spiritual guidance, though not necessarily fertility-specific. This shift allowed me to create space for healing and to cope better with the challenges we were facing.
When we were ready to try again, we switched to a new clinic and doctor. This time, we batched embryos, tailored the protocols to my body, and performed PGT (preimplantation genetic testing). It was a much better fit. Our son, who is now nearly three years old, was the result of our sixth embryo transfer, the third from that batch.
You’ve mentioned focusing on mental health. What specific tools and strategies helped you the most?
Bianca: Mental health became a cornerstone of my journey. I explored affirmations and guided meditations using apps, but what resonated most was working with a Zen meditation teacher. His teachings weren’t specific to fertility but were deeply applicable to life in general. For example, learning to watch my thoughts without judgment and separating my identity from the stories my mind was telling me was transformative.
One unexpected source of support came from a close friend who was undergoing cancer treatment at the same time. Although our challenges were different, we shared a common understanding of navigating medical uncertainty and the emotional toll it takes. That connection was invaluable.
I also found writing to be a powerful tool. Putting my thoughts on paper helped me process the emotions I couldn’t always verbalize. It’s a practice I recommend to anyone going through a fertility journey.
You’ve shared openly about your journey through your podcast and Instagram. What inspired you to create these platforms?
Bianca: During my healing process, I realized how isolating infertility can be and how much I benefited from hearing other people’s stories. I wanted to create a space for those who were still in the thick of it, who didn’t yet have their happy ending. My podcast, *My Fertility Journey*, focuses on sharing stories from people at all stages of the journey, as well as insights from experts and advocates. It’s about creating community and showing people they’re not alone.
On Instagram, I’ve connected with so many amazing individuals through direct messages. Sometimes, people share things with me they haven’t even told their closest friends or family. It’s a privilege to hold space for those conversations.
After such a long journey, you experienced a spontaneous pregnancy. Can you tell us about that?
Yes, about two years after our son was born, I got pregnant naturally. It was shocking and brought up so many mixed emotions. We hadn’t been trying, and I wasn’t in ‘perfect’ health—something infertility treatments drill into you. Sadly, at the 12-week scan, we learned the baby had severe genetic issues, and we decided to terminate the pregnancy. It was one of the hardest decisions we’ve ever made.
Even now, I’m still processing that loss. It reopened wounds I thought had healed and added new layers of grief. At the same time, it reinforced the importance of the mental health tools I’d developed. They’ve helped me navigate this incredibly painful chapter.
What advice would you give to someone currently in the darkest part of their fertility journey?
Bianca: First, know that you’re not alone. It’s easy to feel isolated, but there’s a whole community of people who understand what you’re going through. Reach out—whether it’s through social media, support groups, or professional counseling. Sharing your story, even anonymously, can lighten the load.
Second, take care of your mental health. Find tools that work for you, whether it’s meditation, writing, or therapy. You don’t have to ‘fix’ yourself, but having strategies to cope can make a huge difference.
Finally, be gentle with yourself. Infertility is a marathon, not a sprint. Allow yourself to grieve, to rest, and to hope. You’re stronger than you think.
What’s next for you, Bianca?
Bianca: Right now, I’m focusing on healing from my recent loss and preparing for the possibility of a second child. I’m also planning to return to the podcast and continue sharing stories from our incredible community. There’s so much power in storytelling, and I want to keep holding space for those conversations.
Bianca’s story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the strength of the fertility community. Through her advocacy, she has created a space where others can find connection, understanding, and hope. Her message is clear: no matter where you are in your journey, you’re never truly alone.
Bianca also emphasizes that healing doesn’t follow a linear path. It’s filled with setbacks and breakthroughs, but each step forward brings new insights. Her advice to prioritize mental health resonates with anyone facing the uncertainty of infertility or loss. Whether through meditation, writing, or connecting with others, taking time to nurture emotional well-being can provide strength and clarity during difficult times.
For those navigating infertility, Bianca’s reminder to seek community is profound. Platforms like her podcast and social media provide not only a wealth of knowledge but also a sense of solidarity. Knowing that others have walked a similar path can be comforting and empowering.
As Bianca continues to advocate for mental health awareness and fertility education, her journey inspires countless others to hold onto hope and embrace the power of their own resilience. Whether you’re just beginning your journey or reflecting on it years later, her story is a powerful reminder that even amidst heartbreak, there is strength and purpose to be found.