Infertility support groups made possible with Oasis Fertility Support Network
An interview with Erin and Tiffany, the Co-founders of OasisFSN
Infertility and going through a fertility journey is hard and we understand that. Support groups like Oasis Fertility Support Network are a powerful resource. We interviewed the co-founders to help raise awareness about this resource and the wonderful work they are doing for the fertility community.
Erin and Tiffany, are the co-founders of Oasis Fertility Support Network. Driven by their personal struggles with infertility, Erin and Tiffany found each other within a community of like-minded individuals at a local support group. Their quest for hope and support became the inspiration behind Oasis Fertility Support Network. The whole organization is rooted in the firm belief that no one should endure the desert of infertility alone. Learn more at OasisFertilitySupport.com.
As one of the rare, free-of-charge support group organizations across Canada, Oasis warmly embraces all who seek solace within a compassionate community. There are currently 10 in-person support groups and six virtual support groups already in operation. The team has very ambitious expansion plans, which we will be discussing today.
Erin and Tiffany also host a podcast called the Oasis Fertility Podcast, where they have real conversations with individuals who have navigated the complexities of infertility. Our very own Dr. Meivys Garcia was a guest!
In this interview, we cover:
- How was Oasis created?
- What is the current state of Oasis?
- How does someone find a support group?
- Is there a commitment required to be part of a support group?
- How does someone become a conversation starter?
- What is next for Oasis?
- Where did the name “Oasis” come from?
- Word of advice from the Co-founders
Infertility support groups: How did Oasis Fertility Support Network come to exist?
Tiffany: Four years ago I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility and when I was really in the depths of infertility I was feeling like I needed community. I was feeling very alone despite my friends and family trying to be there for me. I just didn’t think that they understood what I was going through and so one day – funny little story – I went on Facebook and I wrote in a group and said, “If anybody wants to connect at Starbucks at 6 PM on this date, and if you live in my city, come join me.” And I really didn’t expect anybody to show up. Then eight girls showed up that day! From there, I built myself a small little community that I’m still friends with today. But in that little post, Erin replied and said, “We’re already running a very small fertility group, if you want to join us, it meets on this day”. I went a couple of times to that group and it helped me find the support and community I was looking for. Also, I just fell in love with the person that Erin was and just felt like I connected with who she was, what she was doing, and how she was really helping support people in the community. I realized I just wanted to do the same. And so one day I approached her and we sat in my car for three hours and just chatted about the future and how maybe we could support the fertility community. That summer we created Oasis!
Erin: I had this overwhelming feeling that we had to do this group on a bigger scale. We needed to replicate this group so that there would be a support group in every major city across Canada. We wanted people struggling in their fertility journeys to be able to connect and build their support networks. And so, that’s really how Oasis was born. We started getting together and talking about, “How can we do this on a bigger scale? How can we do more? How can we reach more people and provide that support from peers? And we have to do it for FREE!”. That’s how it all began.
What’s the current state of OasisFSN? Where are you guys at now? Tell us about that.
Erin and Tiffany: Oasis is a not-for-profit organization that is helping people through the very beginning stage of infertility until they’re postpartum with support groups.
Right now we’re in about 9 cities and we have about 6 virtual support groups; some of our more specialized groups are virtual. The in-person groups are all for infertility. Some of the virtual group are for infertility, so if you don’t have a group in your town currently, you can join a virtual group. It also helps us know where the greatest need is for groups by seeing where attendees of virtual groups are located. This allows us to target those cities for locations and conversation starters so that we can host a group there – hopefully soon!
We’re getting inquiries weekly right now from people asking if there is a group in their area, or asking about how they can help. We have locations in some towns, but nobody to lead the group. And we have leaders in some towns, but no location to host the group. So we are always looking for free locations and people who have completed their fertility journey to host these groups. So please reach out to us if that sounds like something you’d be interested in!
Our virtual groups are not just for infertility, but secondary infertility. We have a group for pregnancy after infertility, postpartum after infertility, and intended moms who are using surrogates to start their families. We are just starting a single moms by choice group as well next month. So that’s an exciting one too. These groups are going to continue to expand and grow into more specialized groups virtually.
For a patient who is looking for a support group, what do they need to do to find one?
Erin and Tiffany: You can visit any of our social media platforms or our website https://oasisfsn.com/ and look under support groups, and you will see the link to sign up.
Once you’ve signed up, we will send you an email with all the information including what location you have picked, or if you picked virtual, we’ll send you a Zoom meeting link. And again, it’s completely FREE for anybody on their fertility journey.
Is there a commitment? Or a commitment to attend every session?
Erin and Tiffany: You can attend whenever you feel like it. We absolutely put no pressure on people to return to a group if they just need to go one time to connect with people. It’s all about what you want to take away from the group. Although, I would like to think it’s also about what you bring to the group as well. You are always are going to bring something if you participate in the conversation, but if you desperately need to just listen and learn and not vent that week or not encourage that week, it’s okay to just show up and just be there to be with other people who get it. Obviously, we hope that you find some people that you want to return with, or that you want to connect with, even outside of the group. We’re big on encouraging people to connect with other people outside of the group to meet regularly, and get to know one another. These are your people. This is the community that we’re building where you can find somebody else who’s going through infertility too and go through it together. You don’t need to do it alone.
How about conversation starters? What criteria are you looking for and how can somebody get involved?
Erin and Tiffany: We will support you and train you for your group, but we just ask that you have either completed your fertility journey or are taking a pause. We also ask for a minimum 12-month commitment. Truthfully, just about anybody could run a support group as long as you have gone through a fertility journey. The lived experience is very key in being able to provide the support that those who are attending need and that you’re in a position where you can hold space for others and be the container because if we’re going to be the container, we can’t also be in the container.
That’s why we call them conversation starters, because they are there to start the conversation and then hold the space so that people can have the conversation with them in the room.
Our in-person groups also have a little mini library at every group. People can show up once a month and borrow a fertility book. We have encouraging resources. There’s a new member welcome bag when you show up to a group for the first time; so you go home with resources that are all supportive of your fertility journey, including donated swag from various fertility industry partners who give us things like eye masks, chapsticks, ice packs for the PIO shots and all of those fun things. With this bag, you go home from the group with something to support your journey, including a wellness book that we wrote that has all kinds of wellness resources, grounding exercises, and mental health resources as well.
If you’re a conversation starter, we also have a guidebook that will help walk you through every step of starting your own group, but we help you find your location and we help you get started. We also have many meetings and we have a Sunday night call that everybody participates in so that you’re always feeling supported within the organization. If you’re out there and you’re interested, let us know!
What is next for OasisFSN? What is the big dream?
Erin and Tiffany: We have really big plans! Right now all of our support groups operate in Ontario but we have plans to expand across the country and have a support group in every province – and eventually in every major city. Once we get into all the major cities, we’ll start getting into the smaller cities because there are people everywhere who are experiencing infertility.
Apart from that, we have our podcast called the Oasis Fertility Podcast where we tell stories. We’ve had many guests we have met through our groups. We’ve had some of our conversation starters share their stories. We had Dr. Meivys Garcia on to share her story – it was amazing! We want to provide multiple levels of support and look at whole-person care. We’re there to provide emotional and mental health support even when someone may not be ready to join a support group. The podcast allows for another mode of sharing- hearing people talk about their story or share something may be someone’s first step in seeking support.
“Oasis” – where did that name come from? What does it mean?
Erin: It took a long time for us to land on the perfect name. It’s a funny story. I was sitting on the toilet one day and – all good ideas come while on the toilet (haha) – on the back of my bathroom door there was a towel and it had these cute little doggies on surfboards on little islands. And the thought that popped into my mind was that it looked like the dog was on an oasis. I have no idea where that word came from, it popped into my mind and it was just meant to be. I then wondered what the definition of oasis was. I went straight to the world wide web and found that an oasis is a fertile place in the desert where water is found. It’s not just the place in the desert where you find water but it’s actually fertile ground. I imagined that the hope that you find with our organization is like finding the fertile ground in the dryness of the desert. Not that we could ever make a promise that you’re going to get pregnant if you come to a support group, but at least we can hope for that. The people you find and the community you find, can give you the strength to keep going. At the end of the day, if you end up connecting with other people, then that would be amazing.
I’ve said this a million times and that’s that we’re all the heart of Oasis. Nobody is like, “the person” who is Oasis or started Oasis. Tiffany and I are the co-founders, but there are two other directors on our board who are Founding Directors and there are other members of our board who have been there from the beginning as part of a support group. There’s a whole team- really an army of us who are behind this, who are behind the creativity, who are behind the support groups and the ideas and we rely so much on them. We wouldn’t be able to do it without our support systems and team for sure. We all need peers and we need to all support each other and have the same vision. We’re so blessed and so lucky that we have found those people who just really believe in the vision and are putting in the work day and night to get it going and get it moving. It definitely takes a village.
With both of you being through your own fertility journeys and also seeing so many fertility journeys as part of your work with Oasis, what advice would you give to someone who is in the middle of the desert right now? What would you say to him or her?
Erin and Tiffany: We would say, hang in there. Believe in yourself. You can do incredible things. Believe in what your body is capable of, and find a community or a support system that’s going to help you along the way. Sometimes these journeys are really short and sometimes they’re really long, but having people who truly understand what you’re going through is the best way to be able to get through it.
Connect with Oasis FSN on Instagram @oasisfsn or website https://oasisfsn.com/