Renee’s IVF journey from heartbreak to hope: A patient story

How one woman turned her fertility struggles into advocacy for improved access to care for northern communities 

In the world of fertility, no two journeys are the same, but there is one common thread: resilience. Renee Higgins embodies this resilience through her extraordinary story—a four-and-a-half-year rollercoaster filled with heartbreak, perseverance, and eventually, joy. 

On EP23 of My Fertility Podcast, we interviewed Renee Higgins, who is not only a voice for those navigating fertility challenges but also an advocate for systemic change in how fertility care is accessed and understood.

This interview-style article captures her experiences, from her diagnosis of diminished ovarian reserve to the unanticipated solace she found in social media and her transition into advocacy.

Renee, thank you for taking the time to share your story. Can you begin by telling us a little about yourself and what brought you to this moment?

Renee: It’s such an honor to share my story. I’m Renee Higgins, a proud fertility patient, advocate, and now 19 weeks pregnant after a journey that has forever changed me. My partner and I started this journey over four years ago after being diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (DOR), which means I wasn’t producing many eggs. What followed were three IUIs, seven IVF cycles, and countless emotional and physical hurdles.

At one point, I even walked away from IVF, believing it wasn’t going to work for us. We had two miscarriages and spent over $100,000 out of pocket—something I know is not feasible for many others. It felt like we were the “worst-case scenario,” but against all odds, things eventually worked out for us. Now, I’m passionate about using my experience to support others and advocate for improved access to fertility treatments.

Diminished ovarian reserve is a challenging diagnosis. How did that shape your treatment plan and emotional state throughout the process?

Renee: DOR is such a tough diagnosis because it’s not just about having fewer eggs; it’s about the quality of those eggs too. Typically, patients with DOR require multiple IVF cycles, and even then, the odds are low. For us, every cycle felt like an uphill battle. In our first six IVF cycles, we created only four embryos. Two of those ended in miscarriages, one was genetically abnormal, and we were left with just one viable embryo.

It was emotionally draining. You go into this process knowing the statistics, but when you’re living it—getting one or two eggs per retrieval, facing fertilization failures—it’s hard not to lose hope. Still, there was something inside me that said, “Keep going.” For years, I drew strength from the stories of others who beat the odds.

What was the turning point in your journey?

Renee: The biggest turning point came during what we thought was our final embryo transfer cycle. After deciding to transfer our last embryo, I was put on medication to prepare my uterine lining. Unexpectedly, those medications stimulated a cohort of follicles. It was a scenario we never anticipated, given my history. At the time, I was at peace with stepping away from IVF, but seeing that growth, my partner encouraged me to consider one more retrieval.

We ended up converting the cycle and retrieving five eggs. To put that in perspective, I had produced only four embryos across six prior IVF cycles combined. This cycle was a miracle. Not only did all five fertilize, but four were genetically normal after testing. It was the best outcome we’d ever had.

Now, I’m pregnant with one of those embryos, and knowing we have others frozen feels like a safety net I never thought we’d have.

Your Instagram account, @the.baby.plan, has become a hub for people navigating fertility. What inspired you to start it?

Renee: In the beginning, it was all about survival. After our first IVF cycle failed, I felt so isolated. Infertility can be incredibly lonely, and I realized I didn’t have anyone in my immediate circle who truly understood what I was going through. I needed a space to connect with others, so I created an anonymous account on Instagram.

What started as a small corner for me to process my feelings turned into a vibrant community. I began sharing everything—our experiences, the highs and lows, and even the little victories. Over time, I realized that I wasn’t just finding support; I was giving it too. People would message me with questions or share their own stories, and it became this reciprocal relationship that gave me purpose during some of my darkest times.

What has surprised you most about the community you’ve built on Instagram?

Renee: The sheer amount of connection! I’ve made lifelong friends through Instagram—people I’ve met in person and shared meaningful moments with. What surprised me most was how many people wanted to hear my story and draw hope from it.

The other thing that struck me was how much we all needed to talk about the non-medical aspects of infertility: how it affects your mental health, your relationships, your work. Those aren’t things doctors always prepare you for. Instagram gave me a space to have those conversations, and I’m so grateful for it.

Advocacy has become a significant part of your life. How did that come about?

Renee: Advocacy felt like a natural next step after connecting with so many people through Instagram. I kept hearing heartbreaking stories—patients who couldn’t afford IVF, people in Northern Ontario traveling 18 hours to access care, and those unable to start treatment because even the “free” government-funded cycle came with significant out-of-pocket costs.

I wanted to do more than share my story; I wanted to create change. I joined Conceivable Dreams, Ontario’s fertility advocacy group, and have since participated in media interviews, lobbied at Queen’s Park, and collaborated with healthcare providers to push for better access. Advocacy has been healing for me. It’s my way of giving back to a community that has given me so much.

Living in Northern Ontario added unique challenges to your journey. Can you talk about that?

Renee: Absolutely. There are no IVF clinics in Northern Ontario, which means traveling to Southern Ontario for every appointment. For us, that meant a five-hour drive to Toronto. Sometimes, we’d wake up at 3 a.m., drive through snowstorms, and return the same day. Other times, we’d stay in a hotel closer to retrieval or transfer.

It’s exhausting—physically, emotionally, and financially. Over the course of our journey, we made about 50 trips to Toronto. That’s a barrier many people can’t overcome, and it’s one of the reasons I’m so passionate about improving access to fertility care in underserved areas.

You mentioned that mental health plays a big role in infertility. How did you cope?

Renee: Mental health is everything during this process. For me, finding support through Instagram was crucial. It gave me a place to vent, cry, and connect with others who understood. My partner was also incredibly supportive, and I can’t overstate how important it is to have open communication with your loved ones.

Therapy and advocacy were also huge for me. Talking to a therapist helped me process my grief and trauma, while advocacy gave me a sense of purpose. When I felt like I had no control over my own journey, working to improve the system gave me back a sense of agency.

Now that you’re pregnant, how has your perspective changed?

Renee: Pregnancy after infertility is complicated. There’s a sense of disbelief—I still have moments where I feel like an imposter, even as I feel the baby moving. I’ve also struggled with anxiety, constantly worrying about the next milestone.

At the same time, I’m mindful of how my content might affect others in the infertility community. I try to strike a balance, sharing updates while also continuing to provide hope and resources for those still in the thick of it. Infertility leaves a mark, and I’ll carry those experiences with me forever.

What advice would you give to someone currently navigating infertility?

Renee: First, find your people—whether that’s through Instagram, in-person groups, or trusted friends. Talking to people who “get it” makes all the difference. Second, focus on what inspires hope. During treatment, I sought out stories of success and resilience, which helped me stay grounded.

Lastly, be gentle with yourself. Infertility is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s okay to grieve, to take breaks, and to feel everything you’re feeling. You’re not alone.

What message would you share with fertility doctors?

Renee: I think it’s so important for doctors to focus on communication and empathy. The conversation about alternatives, like donor eggs, needs to be handled delicately. Patients need to feel heard and supported, no matter what decisions they’re making.

Also, I encourage doctors to create a safe space where patients feel comfortable asking questions. Fertility treatment can be overwhelming, and clear communication is key to helping patients navigate it.

Finally, what’s next for you, Renee?

Renee: I’m focusing on pregnancy and preparing for motherhood, but advocacy remains a huge priority. I want to continue working with Conceivable Dreams to push for better access to fertility care. On Instagram, I’m sharing practical tips and advice for others navigating treatment, from traveling with medications to dealing with the emotional toll.

Above all, I want to keep giving back to the community that supported me. If my story can help even one person feel less alone, it’s all been worth it.

Renee’s journey is a testament to resilience, community, and the power of advocacy. Whether you’re in the thick of your fertility journey or looking for ways to help others, her story is a beacon of hope. Follow Renee on Instagram @the.baby.plan, and learn more about advocacy efforts through Conceivable Dreams on Instagram: @conceivedreams.