Patient story: Ontario couple’s donor egg IVF journey

The gift of life, twice: An incredible donor egg IVF story

Welcome to this very special interview. On EP70 of My Fertility Podcast, we’re joined by Alexa and Kevin, a couple whose story spans nearly six years of infertility, repeated treatments, emotional highs and lows, and ultimately a journey through donor egg IVF at Markham Fertility Centre. And that’s not where the story ends—after their baby Robin was born, he needed a life-saving liver transplant, and in an extraordinary twist of fate, Alexa became his donor. 

Thank you both for joining us today!

Alexa and Kevin: Thank you for having us. It’s so nice to be here to share our journey.

The Early Days: A Love Story

Let’s start from the very beginning. Tell us a bit about yourselves and how you came to be here today.

Alexa and Kevin: We have what we’d call a classical love story. We met as teenagers at summer music camp in London, Ontario—Alexa played violin, Kevin played piano. At first, Kevin was actually interested in Alexa’s roommate. Fortunately for Alexa, her roommate was there to practice violin, while Alexa was there to have a good time. Kevin would come by to visit, find Alexa’s roommate practicing, and end up hanging out with Alexa instead. We were about 14 and 16 at the time. We didn’t date then—just remained friends for years. We had that dramatic, artist-style “will-they-or-won’t-they” in our early twenties, broke up, made up, before settling down for good in 2012. We’ve been together ever since.

Even before marriage, we knew we wanted children. There was no debate—we both wanted kids. Alexa’s parents had struggled with infertility for nearly two decades before she was born, so the possibility of challenges was always present in her mind.

Trying to Conceive

Alexa: Even before we were married, I asked my family doctor to check my fertility. They did some bloodwork and said everything looked fine. I thought, “Perfect, I’ve checked that box.” But when we tried right after getting married, nothing happened. At first it was casual—just trying—but then I began tracking my period, monitoring ovulation, using home tests. Still, no pregnancy.

Kevin: That’s when we decided to go to a fertility clinic. Our first experience was not what we expected—it felt impersonal, the doctor recommended invasive procedures immediately, and when Alexa asked questions like, “Why this test? Why this treatment?” she was told, “Because you need it.” There was no personalized plan, no room to discuss options like IUI first.

Alexa: We were so put off that we actually delayed treatment. We weren’t ready to be pushed into surgeries and aggressive protocols without explanation.

Multiple Clinics, Mixed Experiences

So you didn’t stop there—you went to several clinics?

Alexa and Kevin: Yes. In total, we saw four fertility specialists at three clinics before finding our fit at Markham Fertility. At one clinic we were given thick contracts to sign with little explanation. We didn’t feel comfortable asking questions, but we also felt intense pressure to move ahead. It was emotionally draining.

Alexa: We went through two IVF cycles at that second clinic. The first retrieved six eggs—only one was mature, and it didn’t fertilize. I was devastated. When the doctor mentioned donor eggs after that very first failed attempt, I felt offended. I thought, “You’re not listening. I’m not ready for this conversation.” The second round, funded by the government, gave us five eggs and three embryos. One was normal. We transferred it, and I was convinced it had worked. I even took apart the negative pregnancy test, sure it was broken. Waiting five weeks for a follow-up with the doctor was agonizing. I was deeply depressed by then.

Finding Dr. Wais at Markham Fertility Centre

Alexa: During the pandemic, I found one of Dr. Garcia’s YouTube interviews. She was talking about her own infertility experience.. I turned to Kevin and said, “We need this doctor.” We were lucky she had an opening, and we started treatment soon after.

Kevin: Meeting Dr. Garcia was a turning point. She listened. She encouraged us to keep trying with Alexa’s eggs before moving to donor eggs. We did four more IVF rounds, transfers, immune testing—she exhausted every possibility with us.

Moving Toward Choosing Donor Eggs

Tell us about the moment you realized donor eggs were the right next step.

Alexa: It was a long road—nearly six years from start to finish. We had embryos, we tried five transfers, and none worked. Each failure reinforced in my mind that this might not happen with my eggs. Several moments were key:

1. Naturopath’s advice: She asked, “Do you want to be related to your baby, or do you want to be pregnant?” By the time I left her office, I knew pregnancy was more important to me. Learn more about naturopathic medicine in this interview with Dr. Moira Knowk, ND.
   
2. Family revelation: I told my parents we were considering donor eggs, and my mom revealed they had used a sperm donor to conceive me. It was shocking but not surprising—I had always felt there was a secret. Knowing this actually gave me strength: if my dad and I could be this close, I could love a donor-conceived child the same way.
   
3. Cancelled IVF cycle: Our final IVF cycle had to be cancelled due to early ovulation. When Dr. Garcia called to tell me, I felt relief. That was a clear sign I was ready to move forward.
   
4. Support community: We attended a Donor Conception Canada meeting. Seeing parents thriving and openly sharing their stories gave us confidence that we could do this too.

Kevin: For me, I had to process the idea that my child wouldn’t be genetically related to Alexa. Seeing donor-conceived families and realizing they looked just like any other family helped me let go of that expectation. It stopped feeling like a consolation prize and started feeling like the way we were meant to build our family.

How to Choose an Egg Donor

How did you go about selecting your donor?

Alexa: We knew we wanted a fresh donor cycle through Markham Fertility to ensure the donor was cared for by the team we trusted. We also wanted someone who had finished her own family so we weren’t taking opportunities from her. She needed to be open to a known donation so that Robin could have the option of connection later.

When we saw our donor’s profile, she was the third one we looked at. I called Kevin into the room right away and said, “She’s the one.” I never second-guessed that choice.

Kevin: As artists, we trust our intuition. This just felt right.

A Successful Cycle

Alexa: The retrieval produced so many eggs that the clinic had to adjust our PGT testing plan so we wouldn’t go broke testing them all. Coming from cycles where we had one or two embryos, this abundance was a miracle. It allowed us to dream again about the possibility of more than one child.

Pregnancy and Birth

And the first embryo transfer worked?

Alexa and Kevin: Yes! Our first transfer resulted in a positive beta and heartbeat. The pregnancy was smooth, the delivery was what Alexa had hoped for, and we welcomed Robin into the world.

Baby Robin’s Health Scare

Alexa: At his eight-week appointment, Robin was diagnosed with biliary atresia. We were admitted to the hospital immediately for what turned into five months. He had two major surgeries but still needed a liver transplant.

Kevin: Alexa was tested first, and miraculously, she was a perfect match. On November 7, 2024, she donated part of her liver. They wheeled it through the tunnel from her hospital to SickKids, and Robin received it the same day.

Alexa: I’ve always believed Robin was meant to be our baby, but this confirmed it. Out of all the embryos, this was the one chosen. Now we are literally connected.

Lessons Learned

Host: You’ve said your fertility journey prepared you for parenting Robin through this crisis.

Alexa and Kevin: Yes. We had already learned patience, resilience, and how to advocate for ourselves. That experience translated into managing Robin’s care—13 medications at discharge, endless appointments, asking the right questions, and staying present. Instead of feeling unlucky, we felt chosen for this challenge.

Advice to Others

Alexa: I share four pillars with anyone considering donor eggs:

1. Choice: Even though infertility feels out of your control, you still have choices—clinic, doctor, donor, timeline.
2. Connection: Talk to others who have walked this path. Their experiences can save you time and heartbreak.
3. Community: Find support groups—Donor Conception Canada was crucial for us.
4. Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Your greatest fears may turn into your greatest strengths as a parent.

Kevin: And allow your dream to evolve. Redefining what family means can be freeing. Genetics are only one part of parenthood.

Donor Egg Journey: Talking to Children

Alexa: We are already telling Robin his story, even though he doesn’t understand yet. I think parents should process their own feelings first so that when they tell their child, it comes from a place of love and confidence. There isn’t one perfect way—just the way that feels right for your family.

Full Circle Reflections

This has been a truly touching conversation. Thank you for being so open and willing to share with the podcast world. 

Alexa and Kevin: If we could speak to someone just starting out, we’d tell them this: infertility is not just a medical process, it’s a personal transformation. You will meet new versions of yourself along the way. You will become the parent your child needs.

Alexa and Kevin’s journey is proof that biology is only one part of what makes a family. Through persistence, heartbreak, community, and hope, they built their family exactly the way they were meant to. And when Robin needed her most, Alexa gave him the ultimate gift—part of herself. In every sense of the word, they were made for each other.

Donor Egg Related Definitions

Donor Egg in Canada

Definition: “Donor egg” refers to eggs (ova) provided by one person (a donor) for use in assisted human reproduction (AHR) by another person who cannot, for medical, genetic, or other reasons, use her own eggs or wants to improve chances of pregnancy or reduce risk of genetic disease. In Canada, egg donation is regulated; donors must meet screening and testing standards; and only altruistic donation is permitted (i.e. donors may be reimbursed for expenses, but selling or paying for eggs is illegal). (Source: Government of Canada)

Donor egg features / legal/regulatory points in Canada:

• Under the Assisted Human Reproduction Act (AHR Act), third-party gametes (ova/eggs and sperm) must satisfy standards for safety. (Source: Government of Canada)
• Donors undergo medical screening (for infectious disease, genetic risks, etc.) and suitability assessments. (Source: Government of Canada)
• Donors may be known (identity known to recipient or child later) or anonymous, both of which are regulated under AHR.
• No payment above the reimbursement of expenses is permitted.

Donor egg medical/clinical aspects:

• Egg donors must complete an in vitro fertilization (IVF) stimulation protocol. This includes ovarian stimulation with hormone injections, clinical monitoring via blood tests and ultrasounds, and egg retrieval procedure to harvest mature eggs.
• The eggs are fertilized in the laboratory, typically using the intended father’s sperm or donor sperm. The resulting embryo(s) are then transferred into the uterus of the intended parent or gestational carrier.

PGT Testing (Preimplantation Genetic Testing)

Definition: Preimplantation Genetic Testing (PGT) refers to genetic tests performed on embryos obtained via IVF before transfer into the uterus. The purpose is screening or diagnosing for chromosomal abnormalities (e.g. the wrong number of chromosomes), structural rearrangements, or specific single-gene disorders. (Source: ACOG)

Types:

• PGT-A (Aneuploidy screening): Screens embryos for the correct number of chromosomes. It may help identify embryos with chromosomal abnormalities that are less likely to implant or may result in miscarriage.
• PGT-M (Monogenic disorder diagnosis): Used when one or both parents carry a known genetic mutation associated with a specific single-gene condition. It can help identify embryos that do not carry the condition before an embryo transfer.
• PGT-SR (Structural chromosomal rearrangements): Used when a parent carries a structural chromosome rearrangement, such as a translocation or inversion. It can help identify embryos with an unbalanced chromosome arrangement, which may affect implantation or pregnancy.

Procedure summary:

• Embryo development: Embryos are cultured in the laboratory until they reach the blastocyst stage, typically around 5–6 days after fertilization.
• Embryo biopsy: A small number of cells are carefully removed from the trophectoderm, the outer layer of the blastocyst that develops into the placenta, and sent for genetic testing.
• Using the results: Genetic testing results can help inform which embryo(s) may be most suitable for transfer. Depending on the type of testing performed, this may help reduce the risk of transferring an embryo with certain genetic or chromosomal abnormalities.

Limitations & considerations:

• PGT-A does not guarantee pregnancy or a healthy baby, and it cannot identify every possible genetic or chromosomal condition. As with any genetic test, false-positive and false-negative results are possible.
• Ethic and genetic counselling is an important part of the PGT process, particularly when considering PGT-M or PGT-SR. These tests involve additional genetic considerations, and counselling can help patients understand the testing process, potential results and limitations.

Embryo Transfer

Definition: Embryo transfer is a step in assisted reproduction (e.g. IVF) during which one or more embryos (that have been previously fertilized and cultured in the lab) are placed into the uterus of the woman who will carry the pregnancy. The goal is for the embryo to implant into the lining of the uterus (endometrium) and develop into pregnancy. (Source: Mayo Clinic)

Types / timing:

• Fresh embryo transfer: using embryo(s) created in the same cycle of stimulation and retrieval, transferred shortly after fertilization. (Source: Markham Fertility Centre)
• Frozen embryo transfer (FET): embryos created and then cryopreserved, commonly known as frozen, later thawed and transferred in a future cycle.

Factors that may influence success include:

• Embryo quality: Embryo development and morphology, along with PGT results when testing is performed, may be considered when selecting an embryo for transfer.
• Uterine receptivity: The condition and preparation of the uterine lining can play a role in successful embryo implantation.
• Timing and transfer technique: The timing of the embryo transfer and the technique used during the procedure may also influence outcomes.

IVF Cycle (In Vitro Fertilization Cycle)

Definition: An IVF cycle refers to the series of medical and laboratory steps required to attempt pregnancy via in vitro fertilization. This includes ovarian stimulation, egg retrieval, fertilization of eggs with sperm in the lab, embryo culture, and then embryo transfer. One cycle comprises all those steps from start of stimulation to the transfer (or freeze of embryos) as applicable. (Source: Mayo Clinic)

Steps in a typical IVF cycle include:

1. Ovarian stimulation: medications (gonadotropins, etc.) to stimulate the ovaries to develop multiple follicles (with the majority containing an oocyte / egg).
2. Monitoring: ultrasounds, blood tests to check follicle growth and hormone levels.
3. Triggering ovulation / final maturation of eggs (often with hCG or similar).
4. Egg retrieval: collecting mature eggs from ovaries (under anesthesia).
5. Fertilization: in lab, either by mixing sperm and egg (conventional IVF insemination) or via intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI).
6. Embryo culture: the embryos are cultured for a few days (often to blastocyst stage).
7. Embryo selection (if PGT or morphological grading is used).
8. Embryo transfer (fresh or frozen).
9. Pregnancy test / follow-up.

IVF success rates and influencing factors:

• The rate of live birth per IVF cycle depends heavily on a woman’s age, quality of egg(s), sperm quality, embryo health, uterine health and lab technical excellence. (Source: NCBI) Learn more about IVF success rates.

What is a liver transplant?

Definition: A liver transplant (hepatic transplantation) is a surgical procedure in which a diseased or failing liver is replaced (wholly or partially) by healthy liver tissue from a donor. This may be from a deceased donor (whole or split liver) or a living donor, who gives a portion of their liver. The goal is to restore normal liver function in the recipient. (Source: PMC)

Pediatric Liver Transplantation:

• Children with certain severe liver diseases (e.g. biliary atresia, metabolic liver disease, acute liver failure) are candidates for liver transplantation. (Source: PMC)
• Living donor liver transplantation (LDLT) is commonly used in pediatric cases; a relative or other suitable adult donor gives a part of their liver for transplantation. (Source: PMC)

Process / Key Considerations:

• Matching: donor must be medically compatible (blood type, size, etc.), with enough liver volume to both safely donate and allow regeneration in donor and sufficient function in recipient. (Source: EUJ Transplantation)
• Surgery: removal of portion of liver from donor; transplant into recipient. In living donor transplants, the donor’s remaining liver regenerates over time. (Source: EUJ Transplantation)
• Post-operative care: immunosuppression to prevent rejection, monitoring for complications (infection, vascular problems, biliary complications), life-long follow-up. (Source: PMC)